mormondad:

real life high school advice:

  • dont slack 
  • be friends with everyone 
  • kiss ass like there is no tomorrow

(via confirmance)

massiv3:

so when are we gonna stop pretending beer tastes good

(via sarcastic-snowflake)

you need to tell yourself honey… is he really cute? or is he just a white with a visible jawline?

(Source: marimopet, via lpod)

thesorrovv:

ma’am im sorry but that baby was due today, i don’t care if its not done just turn in what you have

(via winterdaddy)

horror movie opening scene

  • white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
  • white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
  • white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
  • white boy: lmao
  • they continue walking for a few seconds
  • *white couple hears noise*
  • white girl: babe what that??
  • white boy: i'll go investigate
  • *leaves her alone*
  • *choking noises*
  • white girl: zack!!!
  • white boy: ha ha just kidding!
  • white girl: asshole!
  • white boy: im just playin babe
  • white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
  • *playful kiss*
  • *things turn sexy*
  • *hear noise*
  • white boy: i'll go investigate
  • *he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
  • *maybe a thud*
  • white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
  • *she walks and he dead*
  • white girl: ahhh!!
  • *killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
  • white girl: ahhh!!!
  • *white girl runs*
  • *dead end*
  • *hides*
  • *thinks she free n safe*
  • *guy catches her*
  • *cuts her*
  • *she dead*
  • opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

disvalue:

all i think about is sex and what i am going to eat next

(via fuckyeahtxtposts)

gr8cosplaytips:

gr8cosplaytips:

how do japanese chihuahuas say hello

konnichihuahua

(via fuckyeahtxtposts)

bravedad:

i wonder how many people i’m in the “i’d be down if you asked” zone with

(via lpod)

chubbykirk:

i like boys in theory and then one gets too close to me adn im like nah

(via tepid-summer)